A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!...
________________________________________________________
India's Highest English Speaking Population Before 8 PM Kerala And After 8 PM Punjab.
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14. 8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200, 000 to do the work.
There are 188, 000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12, 000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11, 998 people in Prisons.
That leaves Just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you're just sitting there reading jokes all day!
only 3% of the population of the world get these two questions correct...try it out...
which mouse...walks on two feet?..
don't know?..its MICKEY MOUSE...
now...which duck walks on two feet?..
if you thought DAFFY...DONALD...or any other cartoon character you are Wrong...ALL DUCK
walk on two feet!
CHINA has the largest population in world.
NOT because their MEN are extra horny
OR their chicks are extra SEXY
it's because their CONDOMS are Made In China.
Teacher: “What Is A Condom?”
Aamir(Rancho) Muskurane Lag Jata Hain
Teacher: “Aap Itna Muskura Kyu Rahe Hain?”
Aamir(Rancho): “Sir!,,Actualy Bachpan Se Chahta Tha Ki Sex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai”
.
Teacher: “Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai, Condom Ki Definition Bolo?”
.
Aamir(Rancho): “Sir! Condom Is Anything Which Reduces Population”
.
Teacher: “Will U Plz Elaborate?”
.
Aamir(Rancho): “Har Wo Cheez Jo Population Control Kare!” “Baccha Paida Nahi Karna
Hai, Condom Hai Na” “Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak, Condom Hai Sir”
“Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire Hue Hai” “8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh Tak Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai” “1 Second Mein In, 1 Second Mein Out,
In-Out,In-Out,In-Out”
.
Teacher: “Arre… Defination Kya Hai?”
Aamir(Rancho): “Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir”
.
Teacher: “Exam Mein Ye Sab Likhoge?”
“Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak! Idiot”
“Anybody Else??”
.
Chattur: “Sir! , Condom Are Between Any Combination Of Body So Connected, That Their Relative Positions May Be Seen In Kamasutra..”
Teacher: “Wah! Kya Baat Hai.....
.
Amir(Rancho):Sir,lekin maine bhi to wohi btaya asana Bhasha me
Teacher: aap ko agar asan bhasha pasand hai to 'kothe' join Kijiye
Amir(Rancho): Sir aise kitaab se ratta maar ke kya faida..
Teacher: aap kitaab se zyada jante hain?
5 things American Movies Teach Us:
1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu.
2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population Are FBI/CIA Agents, Working Undercover.
3. The Purpose Of School System Of U.S. Is To Promote Basketball/Baseball.
4. Aliens Have Special Interest In Attacking the U.S.
5. U.S. Is A Place Where You Can Meet All Mythical Creatures Like Werewolves & Vampires.
5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:
1. At Least One Of The Identical Twins Is Born Evil.
2. While Defusing A Bomb, Don't Worry, Whichever Wire You Cut… You “Always Choose The Right One".
3. A Hero Will Show No Pain, While Getting Beaten Up; But Will Show Pain When A Girl Cleans up His Wound.
4. A Detective Can Solve A Case Only When He Is Suspended From Duty.
*The Most Hilarious*
5. If You Decide To Start Dancing On The Street, Everyone You Meet Will Know The Steps.
My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question - "Number of dependants on you?", I replied - 98% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 2.1 million illegal Immigrants; 9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons.....and above all 769 Idiots in parliament.
Apparently they said this was not an acceptable answer ..!
I am still wondering.. Who the hell did i miss out?
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!...
________________________________________________________
The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14. 8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200, 000 to do the work.
There are 188, 000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12, 000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11, 998 people in Prisons.
That leaves Just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you're just sitting there reading jokes all day!
________________________________________________________
which mouse...walks on two feet?..
don't know?..its MICKEY MOUSE...
now...which duck walks on two feet?..
if you thought DAFFY...DONALD...or any other cartoon character you are Wrong...ALL DUCK
walk on two feet!
________________________________________________________
CHINA has the largest population in world.
NOT because their MEN are extra horny
OR their chicks are extra SEXY
it's because their CONDOMS are Made In China.
________________________________________________________
Teacher: “What Is A Condom?”
Aamir(Rancho) Muskurane Lag Jata Hain
Teacher: “Aap Itna Muskura Kyu Rahe Hain?”
Aamir(Rancho): “Sir!,,Actualy Bachpan Se Chahta Tha Ki Sex Education College Mein
Padhu! Aaj Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai”
.
Teacher: “Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai, Condom Ki Definition Bolo?”
.
Aamir(Rancho): “Sir! Condom Is Anything Which Reduces Population”
.
Teacher: “Will U Plz Elaborate?”
.
Aamir(Rancho): “Har Wo Cheez Jo Population Control Kare!” “Baccha Paida Nahi Karna
Hai, Condom Hai Na” “Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak, Condom Hai Sir”
“Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire Hue Hai” “8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh Tak Sab
Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai” “1 Second Mein In, 1 Second Mein Out,
In-Out,In-Out,In-Out”
.
Teacher: “Arre… Defination Kya Hai?”
Aamir(Rancho): “Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir”
.
Teacher: “Exam Mein Ye Sab Likhoge?”
“Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak! Idiot”
“Anybody Else??”
.
Chattur: “Sir! , Condom Are Between Any Combination Of Body So Connected, That Their Relative Positions May Be Seen In Kamasutra..”
Teacher: “Wah! Kya Baat Hai.....
.
Amir(Rancho):Sir,lekin maine bhi to wohi btaya asana Bhasha me
Teacher: aap ko agar asan bhasha pasand hai to 'kothe' join Kijiye
Amir(Rancho): Sir aise kitaab se ratta maar ke kya faida..
Teacher: aap kitaab se zyada jante hain?
Amir(Rancho):Nai sir magar.....
.
Teacher: Asan bhasha me bahar chale jaiye.. :@ .
Amir (Rancho) gone
.
.
............
.
Amir(Rancho) returns back to class...
.
Teacher:ab kya hua
.
Amir(Rancho) : sir kuch bhool
gya tha..
Teacher: kya?
.
Amir khan: sir,6 inch long,coated with extra protection,come -s in out in out, throw liquid wen directed, cud b covered with cap,spreads wen rubbed....
.
Teacher: are kehna kya chahte ho?
.
Amir(Rancho): 'kalam'sir....pen
.
Teacher: Asan bhasha me bahar chale jaiye.. :@ .
Amir (Rancho) gone
.
.
............
.
Amir(Rancho) returns back to class...
.
Teacher:ab kya hua
.
Amir(Rancho) : sir kuch bhool
gya tha..
Teacher: kya?
.
Amir khan: sir,6 inch long,coated with extra protection,come -s in out in out, throw liquid wen directed, cud b covered with cap,spreads wen rubbed....
.
Teacher: are kehna kya chahte ho?
.
Amir(Rancho): 'kalam'sir....pen
________________________________________________________
5 things American Movies Teach Us:
1. Chinese Have Nothing Better To Do Than Teaching Or Practice Kung Fu.
2. More Than 50% Of U.S. Population Are FBI/CIA Agents, Working Undercover.
3. The Purpose Of School System Of U.S. Is To Promote Basketball/Baseball.
4. Aliens Have Special Interest In Attacking the U.S.
5. U.S. Is A Place Where You Can Meet All Mythical Creatures Like Werewolves & Vampires.
5 things Indian Movies Teach Us:
1. At Least One Of The Identical Twins Is Born Evil.
2. While Defusing A Bomb, Don't Worry, Whichever Wire You Cut… You “Always Choose The Right One".
3. A Hero Will Show No Pain, While Getting Beaten Up; But Will Show Pain When A Girl Cleans up His Wound.
4. A Detective Can Solve A Case Only When He Is Suspended From Duty.
*The Most Hilarious*
5. If You Decide To Start Dancing On The Street, Everyone You Meet Will Know The Steps.
________________________________________________________
My income tax return form has been sent back to me because in response to question - "Number of dependants on you?", I replied - 98% of population who doesn't pay taxes, 2.1 million illegal Immigrants; 9,00,000 criminals in over 85 prisons.....and above all 769 Idiots in parliament.
Apparently they said this was not an acceptable answer ..!
I am still wondering.. Who the hell did i miss out?
________________________________________________________
Also Read
Saas Bahu Funny Jokes
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________________________________________________________
Also Read
Saas Bahu Funny Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
________________________________________________________