1.Funny chain messages for whatsapp
HILARIOUS MESSAGE FROM A FRUSTRATED VICTIM OF CHAIN MESSAGES -I want to thank all my friends who have forwarded chain messages to me in 2012, 2013, 2014, & 2015 and are still continuing..
BECAUSE OF YOUR KINDNESS :
1- I stopped eating the tasty Kurkure after I heard that it has plastic in it.
2- I stopped going to movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with Aids.
3- Forwarded hundreds of messages but am still waiting for free balance.
4- I smell like a rotten egg since i stopped using deo's because they cause cancer.
5- I also donated all my savings to a 7 year old poor girl who was about to die in the hospital nearly 700 times.
6- Made 100 wishes before forwarding God's pictures etc, and by now most of those 'wishes' are already married.
7- I have stopped drinking Frooti as every six-months, one worker having AIDS dies in the Parle factory & his blood gets mixed in the Frooti.
8- Every week the Chairman or some Director of Whatsapp sends a SMS asking to forward to 8 people in my contact list and if not my whatsapp will be charged or the Icon will not become Blue.
I have never forwarded any sms, and as yet my whatsapp is FOC (free of cost).
9-If I don't take Your calls sometime, assume that my mobile is charging & I fear of getting Burnt if I talk when the mobile is charging.
Now if you don't send this message to your friends in the next 10 seconds, a Coconut will Fall on Your Head tomorrow.
Ab toh Hadd Hogayi...
Whatsapp is giving 5 kgs Rice and 2 litres milk. Share this message to 5 groups only and check the kitchen after 30 minutes.
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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY
THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW
YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.
1. say your name ten times.
2. say your mom's name five times. ...
3. say your crushes three times
4. paste this to four other groups.
If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.
But if you read this and do not paste this, then you
will have very bad luck.
SEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN
YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS
ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS
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If chain messages were true then by now I should have died over 100 times
2.Funny chain messages jokes
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3.hilarious chain text messages
Chain message by Santa:Please iss message ko itna forward kariye ki…
meri girlfriend tak pahunch jaaye!
“Preeto, tune sim change kar ke achcha nahi kiya…
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Dont believe in chain messages it is not true
if u dont pass this to 5 pages in 3 mins you will see a dead kid in your bedroom
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According to chain messages, I shouldve died 18 times, been raped twice, been cut 10 times. Either chain messages are fake, or I'm Superman
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Dedicated To All the ppl who posts chain msgs on my wall :-|
This is specially for u ppl.
Dear Chain messages,
According to you, I should've been died 18 times, been hit by a car twice & been cut 10 times.
Sincerely
Never forwarded you.
(After readin dis post plz accept the fact that nothin is gonno happen.)
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55 gallon tank great condition. no scratches. comes with filter. $125. 484-***-****. CALL ME ONLY - NO EMAILS. 484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
Hey,
That fish tank is beautiful. I must have it! Is it still for sale?
Mike
From Felix ********* to Me:
CALL THE NUMBER
From Me to Felix *********:
What number?
From Felix ********* to Me:
484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called that number and nobody answered.
From Felix ********* to Me:
i never heard it ring. call again and leave a message if no answer.
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called again. Nobody picked up so I went to leave you a message, but it said your voicemail was full.
From Felix ********* to Me:
my voicemail isnt full the phone never rang. are you calling the right number? 484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called the number again and I got a fax machine noise. Is there a trick to dialing your number?
From Felix ********* to Me:
what trick??? its a phone number you just dial it!
From Me to Felix *********:
Are you sure you didn't give me the number to a fax machine? Would you rather communicate through fax? That would actually be easier for me.
From Felix ********* to Me:
NO!
From Me to Felix *********:
I wasn't sure what to do, so I sent you a fax. Did you get it?
From Felix ********* to Me:
DONT SEND ME A FAX
From Felix ********* to Me:
STOP SENDING ME FAXES
From Felix ********* to Me:
SERIOUSLY STOP TRYOING TO SEND FAX! IT WONT WORK BECAUSE ITS A CELL PHONE!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Can't you just set your cell phone to fax machine mode?
From Felix ********* to Me:
what the hell is fax machine mode? cell phones dont have that!
From Felix ********* to Me:
OMG dude ENOUGH WITH THE FAXES!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Sorry, I set the fax machine to try sending the fax every fifteen minutes until it goes through. It was the office fax machine and I already left for the weekend. Can this wait until Monday?
From Felix ********* to Me:
NO IT CANT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY ARE YOU F#CKING KIDDING ME
From Felix ********* to Me:
GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE AND CANCEL IT RIGHT NOW
From Me to Felix *********:
My apologies, I can't go back. I'm at the airport and my flight to Vancouver leaves in an hour and a half. I'll cancel the fax on Monday when I get back.
From Felix ********* to Me:
HEY! NO! F#CK THAT YOU BETTER FIND A WAY AND CANCEL THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!! CALL SOMEBODY AT THE OFFICE MAKE THEM DO IT I'M F#CKING SERIOUS
From Me to Felix *********:
Nobody is at the office, it is 6:30! Actually, you know what? The janitor might be there. We are pretty good friends. Do you want me to contact him?
From Felix ********* to Me:
YES
From Me to Felix *********:
Okay, I gave him your info. He's going to call you shortly. I'm on the plane now and they are making us turn our cell phones off for takeoff. Good luck!
From Felix ********* to Me:
DONT HAVE HIM CALL ME YOU IDIOT JUST HAVE HIM CANCEL THE FAX
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh?
From Felix ********* to Me:
GOD DAMMIT
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh?
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I made another email account as Dave the Janitor...
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From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Hi there! Is this Felix? Mike told me to contact you about buying a fish tank. I'm Dave, the janitor at Mike's office. I tried calling the number he gave me but it sounded like a fax machine or something, so I am emailing you instead.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
yeah hi dave here's the situation. mike has no idea how phones work and tried to send a fax to my phone using the fax machine at his office. now my phone is getting a call from the fax machine every 15 minutes. he said you can cancel the fax?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Mike didn't mention anything about a fax machine to me. He told me to buy a fish tank from you and he'd get it from me on Monday.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
oh jesus christ...no... he was supposed to tell you to cancel the fax that keeps calling my phone. are you at his office? can you stop the fax?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
So you aren't selling the fish tank?
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
look forget the fish tank just stop the fax machine, PLEASE!!
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Why are you so worried about this fax machine? Can't you just turn your cell phone to fax mode?
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
that isnt a thing! look im done screwing around here. just stop the fax machine, ok?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Tell you what, I'll cancel the fax machine if you drop the price on the fish tank to $75.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
look im in no mood to haggle with a janitor over a f#cking fish tank.
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Excuse me? "with a janitor?" What is that supposed to mean? What if I had a fancy rich person job as an investment banker? Would you haggle with me then? I don't like your condescending tone, buddy. I know being a janitor isn't the most desirable job, but I gotta put food on the table for my kids somehow! Sorry I'm not an astronaut with a degree in brain surgery! You're in no mood to argue with a janitor? Well guess what? I am in no mood to turn off fax machines for a rude, snobby, patronizing fish tank owner!
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
i didnt mean to insult you. i like janitors. im sorry! can you please just turn off the fax machine!
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Fine. But I am telling Mike what you said to me and I don't think he will want to buy a fish tank from you after that. Are you this rude to your fish? Oh I'm Felix! Sorry, I'm in no mood to feed a goldfish! Maybe if you were a $500 Blueface Angel fish I would feed you.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
......are you done?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Yes, I stopped the fax. Sorry it took me so long to figure out how to cancel it. I'm just a janitor. What do I know about fax machines? I don't have a fancy degree in fax machine engineering.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
yeah yeah.... thats enough. thanks bye
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A few days later, from my original email account...
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From Me to Felix *********:
Felix,
I just got back from Canada to find out you were belittling my janitor? Dave is one of the best janitors I have ever had the pleasure of working with, so you better watch your mouth. You think you are better than him or something? Big words coming from a guy who doesn't even own a fax machine. You can forget about me buying your fish tank!
Mike
From Felix ********* to Me:
good because im not selling anything to a stupid F#CK who cant even figure out how to dial a phone number!!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Please, stop harassing me and Dave. You've done enough. Leave us alone.
From Felix ********* to Me:
oh im harassing YOU? the dumbass who sets a fax to send me every 15 minutes and then LEAVES THE F#CKING COUNTRY? you know how many times that fax machine called me you stupid piece of shit you have the nerve to say IM harassing YOU? go f#ck yourself you f#cking f#ckhead!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
Hola! I will be on vacation in Mexico until Monday, June 17th and will not be checking my email until I return. Adios, amigos!
55 gallon tank great condition. no scratches. comes with filter. $125. 484-***-****. CALL ME ONLY - NO EMAILS. 484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
Hey,
That fish tank is beautiful. I must have it! Is it still for sale?
Mike
From Felix ********* to Me:
CALL THE NUMBER
From Me to Felix *********:
What number?
From Felix ********* to Me:
484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called that number and nobody answered.
From Felix ********* to Me:
i never heard it ring. call again and leave a message if no answer.
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called again. Nobody picked up so I went to leave you a message, but it said your voicemail was full.
From Felix ********* to Me:
my voicemail isnt full the phone never rang. are you calling the right number? 484-***-****
From Me to Felix *********:
I just called the number again and I got a fax machine noise. Is there a trick to dialing your number?
From Felix ********* to Me:
what trick??? its a phone number you just dial it!
From Me to Felix *********:
Are you sure you didn't give me the number to a fax machine? Would you rather communicate through fax? That would actually be easier for me.
From Felix ********* to Me:
NO!
From Me to Felix *********:
I wasn't sure what to do, so I sent you a fax. Did you get it?
From Felix ********* to Me:
DONT SEND ME A FAX
From Felix ********* to Me:
STOP SENDING ME FAXES
From Felix ********* to Me:
SERIOUSLY STOP TRYOING TO SEND FAX! IT WONT WORK BECAUSE ITS A CELL PHONE!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Can't you just set your cell phone to fax machine mode?
From Felix ********* to Me:
what the hell is fax machine mode? cell phones dont have that!
From Felix ********* to Me:
OMG dude ENOUGH WITH THE FAXES!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Sorry, I set the fax machine to try sending the fax every fifteen minutes until it goes through. It was the office fax machine and I already left for the weekend. Can this wait until Monday?
From Felix ********* to Me:
NO IT CANT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY ARE YOU F#CKING KIDDING ME
From Felix ********* to Me:
GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE AND CANCEL IT RIGHT NOW
From Me to Felix *********:
My apologies, I can't go back. I'm at the airport and my flight to Vancouver leaves in an hour and a half. I'll cancel the fax on Monday when I get back.
From Felix ********* to Me:
HEY! NO! F#CK THAT YOU BETTER FIND A WAY AND CANCEL THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!! CALL SOMEBODY AT THE OFFICE MAKE THEM DO IT I'M F#CKING SERIOUS
From Me to Felix *********:
Nobody is at the office, it is 6:30! Actually, you know what? The janitor might be there. We are pretty good friends. Do you want me to contact him?
From Felix ********* to Me:
YES
From Me to Felix *********:
Okay, I gave him your info. He's going to call you shortly. I'm on the plane now and they are making us turn our cell phones off for takeoff. Good luck!
From Felix ********* to Me:
DONT HAVE HIM CALL ME YOU IDIOT JUST HAVE HIM CANCEL THE FAX
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh?
From Felix ********* to Me:
GOD DAMMIT
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
I will be out of the office on vacation in Canada until Monday, June 10th. I will not be checking my emails until I return. Have a great weekend, eh?
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I made another email account as Dave the Janitor...
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From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Hi there! Is this Felix? Mike told me to contact you about buying a fish tank. I'm Dave, the janitor at Mike's office. I tried calling the number he gave me but it sounded like a fax machine or something, so I am emailing you instead.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
yeah hi dave here's the situation. mike has no idea how phones work and tried to send a fax to my phone using the fax machine at his office. now my phone is getting a call from the fax machine every 15 minutes. he said you can cancel the fax?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Mike didn't mention anything about a fax machine to me. He told me to buy a fish tank from you and he'd get it from me on Monday.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
oh jesus christ...no... he was supposed to tell you to cancel the fax that keeps calling my phone. are you at his office? can you stop the fax?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
So you aren't selling the fish tank?
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
look forget the fish tank just stop the fax machine, PLEASE!!
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Why are you so worried about this fax machine? Can't you just turn your cell phone to fax mode?
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
that isnt a thing! look im done screwing around here. just stop the fax machine, ok?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Tell you what, I'll cancel the fax machine if you drop the price on the fish tank to $75.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
look im in no mood to haggle with a janitor over a f#cking fish tank.
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Excuse me? "with a janitor?" What is that supposed to mean? What if I had a fancy rich person job as an investment banker? Would you haggle with me then? I don't like your condescending tone, buddy. I know being a janitor isn't the most desirable job, but I gotta put food on the table for my kids somehow! Sorry I'm not an astronaut with a degree in brain surgery! You're in no mood to argue with a janitor? Well guess what? I am in no mood to turn off fax machines for a rude, snobby, patronizing fish tank owner!
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
i didnt mean to insult you. i like janitors. im sorry! can you please just turn off the fax machine!
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Fine. But I am telling Mike what you said to me and I don't think he will want to buy a fish tank from you after that. Are you this rude to your fish? Oh I'm Felix! Sorry, I'm in no mood to feed a goldfish! Maybe if you were a $500 Blueface Angel fish I would feed you.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
......are you done?
From Dave the Janitor to Felix *********:
Yes, I stopped the fax. Sorry it took me so long to figure out how to cancel it. I'm just a janitor. What do I know about fax machines? I don't have a fancy degree in fax machine engineering.
From Felix ********* to Dave the Janitor:
yeah yeah.... thats enough. thanks bye
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A few days later, from my original email account...
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From Me to Felix *********:
Felix,
I just got back from Canada to find out you were belittling my janitor? Dave is one of the best janitors I have ever had the pleasure of working with, so you better watch your mouth. You think you are better than him or something? Big words coming from a guy who doesn't even own a fax machine. You can forget about me buying your fish tank!
Mike
From Felix ********* to Me:
good because im not selling anything to a stupid F#CK who cant even figure out how to dial a phone number!!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
Please, stop harassing me and Dave. You've done enough. Leave us alone.
From Felix ********* to Me:
oh im harassing YOU? the dumbass who sets a fax to send me every 15 minutes and then LEAVES THE F#CKING COUNTRY? you know how many times that fax machine called me you stupid piece of shit you have the nerve to say IM harassing YOU? go f#ck yourself you f#cking f#ckhead!!!!!!
From Me to Felix *********:
This is an automated out-of-office reply from Mike Partlow:
Hola! I will be on vacation in Mexico until Monday, June 17th and will not be checking my email until I return. Adios, amigos!
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Q-What are the wittiest replies to somebody who sends you chain messages asking to forward it to 20+ people?Funny Response To Chain Messages
A 1 - Sure, but only after you send me 20 idiots from your contact list who actually believe in such shit.
A 4-Automatic reply: Your number has been blocked for spamming.
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How To Respond To Chain Messages/emails/letter In Funny Way?
- Thanks for sending this message. Now, if you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head tomorrow at 7:30 am.Nothing has happened till now... but who knows. So, please forward.
- "Thank you very much for this message but I no longer have a lot of savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in hospital for the 1,387,258th time"
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From Saturday morning whatsapp will become chargeable. If you have at least 10 contacts send them this message. In this way we will see that you are an avid user and your logo will become blue () and will remain free. (As discussed in the paper today. Whatsapp will cost 0.01€ per message. Send this message to 10 people.
When you do the light will turn blue
otherwise whatsapp will activate billing.
ITS TRUE ...... U get blue TICKS
DUDE PLEASE,IT NEVER HAPPENS😀
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From Saturday morning whatsapp will become chargeable. If you have at least 10 contacts send them this message. In this way we will see that you are an avid user and your logo will become blue () and will remain free. (As discussed in the paper today. Whatsapp will cost 0.01€ per message. Send this message to 10 people.
When you do the light will turn blue
otherwise whatsapp will activate billing.
ITS TRUE ...... U get blue TICKS
DUDE PLEASE,IT NEVER HAPPENS😀
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