Hello Friends,Here in this post I'm sharing with you some of most hilarious gay jokes,funny quotes,one liners,pick up lines
dad; "oh okay!"
2nd daughter: "im a lesbian too..."
dad: "jesus christ,does any 1 in this family love d!cks??"
son: "i do..."
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A gay guy falls in love with a proctologist. He goes to the proctologist's office and says that he has an obstruction.
So the proctologist sticks his hand up the guy's a@s but can't find anything. However, he notices that the man has an erection, so the proctologist cuts short the examination and orders the gay guy out of his office.
The next day, the gay guy calls the proctologist and claims he has another obstruction. The proctologist doesn't believe him but the guy claims he is in great pain, so the doctor relents.
When the guy arrives, the doctor sticks his hand up the guy's ass again but this time he finds something.
"Good God!" the doctor exclaims, "No wonder you're in pain. There are two dozen roses shoved up your ass."
The gay guy turns around excitedly and says, "Read the card! Read the Card!"
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Smoker, Drunk And Gay...
Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk, another is a smoker and the third's a gay guy.
The doctor tells each of them that, if they indulge in their bad habit one more time, they will die.
Outside they pass a bar.
The drunk says, “I don't care if I die, I need a drink.” The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and sure enough, he drops dead.Meanwhile the smoker and the gay guy are walking along.
Then the smoker spots a lit cigarette on the sidewalk. The gay guy looks over and says, “If you bend down to pick that up, we're both dead.”
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As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic-looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines,
but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.'
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch!
She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess, and I take orders from no one.'
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch!
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WHen you're f@cking him in the @ss, reach around and see if he has a hard-on, FAG!
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"How are we supposed to find the egg in all this shit?"
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All the hot dogs taste like shit!
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"What are you doing?" gay Bob asks.
"Packing your lunch" says the boyfriend.
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What's considered courtesy in a gay bar?
When you ask before pushing someone's stool in for them.
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they always get fired for drinking on the job!
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What do you call a Lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotapus
How about a gay dinosaur?
Buttasaurus
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A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer buys one young cock from the market and puts it in the pen with the old cock and the hens...
Old Cock: Welcome to the farm. We'll work together towards productivity.
Young Cock: Whattya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old Cock: Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?
Young Cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old Cock: In this case, I challenge you to a competition and, if I win, you let me have one hen. If I lose you have them all.
Young Cock: Okay. What kind of competition?
Old Cock: 50-yard dash. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 yards. Young Cock: No problem! We race tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young Cock allows the Old Cock to start off and when the Old Cock crosses the 10-yard mark, the young cock chases him with all his might.
He was right behind the old cock in a matter of seconds and -- BANG! Before he can overtake the old cock, he is shot dead by the farmer, who sighs and says, "Damn. That's the fifth gay chicken I bought this week."
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