Hilarious Office & Corporate Life Jokes

Funny Corporate Culture Joke & workplace, coworkers humor jokes

My job is secure. Nobody else wants it.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
People who work sitting down all day should get a "desk-ercise" class.
Co-worker: "I'm busy." Me: "I'm important, now tell me what happened."
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work? Because they heard there was a glass ceiling to break. (Spoiler: They tripped.)
I'm not sure what's tighter, my budget or my company's HR policies.

My job title is "Strategic Alignment Facilitator." What I actually do is copy and paste things from one spreadsheet to another.
I'm a professional fire putter-outer. When the metaphorical workplace is on fire, that is.
"Chief Visionary Officer" - the person who stares out the window and gets paid for it.

My work-life balance is like a seesaw...with a sumo wrestler on the "work" side.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it… especially at 3 AM when I’m still working.
I love my job so much, I almost forgot to go home this weekend. Almost.

We're not a family here; we're a team. Families don't fire you.
Our company is so environmentally conscious, we reuse the same "thinking outside the box" cliché every year.
Our company is like a pyramid scheme, except instead of money, we're promised 'exposure'.
Our company's 'open door policy' is great, unless you have something to say.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word.