Hilarious Scientist Jokes: Physics, Chemistry, and Biology Puns for Nerds
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "No charge for you, neutron. You're neutral." The neutron is so happy that he starts dancing around the bar, but then he suddenly stops and asks the bartender, "Wait, are you sure I don't have a charge?" The bartender replies, "Positive."
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A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician were out hunting. They came across a large deer, and the physicist said, "I can calculate the energy required to bring that deer down." The chemist said, "I can calculate the amount of powder and shot needed to bring that deer down." The statistician said, "Okay, let's assume we bring the deer down."
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Three scientists, a physicist, a chemist and a biologist were stranded on an island and they had to survive. The physicist said: "Let's make a shelter using the laws of physics." The chemist said: "Let's make a fire using the principles of chemistry." The biologist said: "Let's make babies." The physicist and chemist looked at each other and said: "That's not going to help us survive." The biologist replied: "You never know, it might just work."
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A biologist, a chemist, and a physicist were stranded on an island. The biologist said, "We must find food, let's search for fruits and vegetables." The chemist said, "We must find clean water, let's distill it from the sea." The physicist said, "We must find a way to communicate with the outside world, let's build a radio transmitter." A few weeks later, a rescue team found them on the island. The physicist's transmitter was working perfectly, the chemist's water was crystal clear, and the biologist was pregnant.
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My dad was a geologist and had no appreciation for his family.. He use to take us for granite.
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How do you organize a space party? You planet!
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Did you hear about the horrible accident where the physicist accidentally chilled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now.
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A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are on a train. They see a herd of black sheep in a field. The biologist says, "Wow, all sheep in Scotland are black!" The chemist says, "No, no. Some sheep in Scotland are black." The statistician says, "There appears to be at least one sheep in Scotland, at least one side of which is black."
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Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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