Funny puns on high and low blood pressure
My doctor told me I have high blood pressure and short-term memory loss.
At least I don't have high blood pressure.
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Probably better than high blood loss and short term pressure.
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- Why did the blood pressure monitor go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the pressure anymore!
- What did the doctor say to the patient with high blood pressure? "Don’t worry, we’ll get this under control—take it one pulse at a time!"
- Why don’t blood pressure cuffs ever lie? Because they’ve got their finger on the pulse of truth!
- Why was the blood pressure reading so dramatic? It loved to make a big pump out of everything!
- What do you call a blood pressure monitor at a party? The life of the circulation!
- Why did the hypertensive patient bring a ladder to the doctor? They heard their blood pressure was through the roof!
- Why did the blood pressure cuff refuse to date the stethoscope? It didn’t want to get too attached to someone who listens to every beat!
- What did the low blood pressure say to the high blood pressure? "Chill out, man, you’re making my head spin!"
- Why don’t blood pressure monitors ever play hide and seek? Because they always squeeze out the truth!
- How does a blood pressure reading flirt? "Are you a vein? Because you’ve got my numbers racing!"
- Why was the blood pressure machine terrible at keeping secrets? It couldn’t stop pumping out the details!
- I tried to lower my blood pressure by eating only healthy foods...Turns out, I'm stressed about only eating healthy foods!
- Why was the blood pressure reading always invited to parties? Because it always brought the high spirits (and sometimes the high pressure)!